Chaos Incarnate
by The Devious Damsels
Summary: Join Byn, Chel, Matt and... Spot?? on their all expenses paid trip through HP-land. Warning: Teenage hormones on the run and out of control. PG-13 for language, insanity and general recklessness. Not compatible with soda or any other form of drink.


       Our Little Trip…

     By Ladies Anoriel and Desideria

Chapter One: The *Trip*

     We were on an end of the year field trip with our social studies teacher and social studies class when it happened.  The entire ninth grade was there on the platform of King's Cross Train Station, complete with suitcases and all.  It all started out normally, or at least as normally as you got with us.  Robyn and I had our arms linked at the elbows and we were just enjoying ourselves.

       Okay, so we were checking guys out.  Big deal.

       "Wowowowow!  Chel, hottie at twelve o'clock!" Robyn exclaimed.  I ignored her and muffled a laugh while playing innocent, smiling at my wonderful boyfriend who really put up with too much for his own good.  I trusted him to fend for himself, however.  After my 'twin' Carrie, Robyn was no big deal, and I knew Logan would survive this trip.

       "Whaddya mean, Byn? It's only nine…" a heathenly hour to be awake, if you ask ME.  Robyn sighed, knowing perfectly well that it was not 'her' guy I was paying attention too, but mine.

       All of a sudden, my perfect view of my perfect boyfriend was blocked.  Not a good idea at nine in the morning when I am missing my desperately needed beauty sleep.  Okay, I guess I don't really need beauty sleep, I'm pretty enough, even with my icky dirt colored brown hair and evil freckles, but I have… um… a figure that fascinates males, at least.  Here was one of them I prayed would never be 'fascinated' by me, in fact.

       "Thinking of your night with Looooogan, Rachel?"  I would tell him to jerk off, but I do believe he would be tempted to do what I said… 

       "Isn't the zoo the OTHER way, Marini? I think they might be upset if you don't go back home so people can gawk at you all day…"

Robyn stifled a snort of laughter.

       "Aww, are we in a bad mood because we DIDN'T get any from Logan last night? After all, those hotel walls were kind of… thin."

I described exactly what he could do with those thin walls.  Robyn gave up on hiding the laugh, and Logan started laughing too.

       Unfortunately, Robyn tends to lose coordination when she laughs.  Sorry Byn, but it's the truth.  This time was no exception, and the fact that we had our elbows linked didn't help at all.

       "Wahhhhh!" we both shrieked loudly, and I grabbed Logan to help hold me up.  Unfortunately, this wasn't as effective as I would have hoped; he fell too and we all fell on Marini, and went straight through the barrier by platform ten.

       With a start like that to this adventure we should've known what a trip we were going to have – and I don't mean through that barrier.

"Ooomph!" I let out a breath of air rather abruptly as Logan landed on top of me.  He's skinny and all but that doesn't mean it didn't knock the air out of me… UGH! Marini's underneath me.  Better move now!  I groaned and got up; Marini made some lewd comment that I ignored in favor of figuring out what was going on.  I could threaten him later.  

~*~*~*~*~Bibbity Bobbi – okAY, Robyn, soooorrry. ~*~*~*~*

All four of us collapsed into a little heap, in the strangest looking station. I, RS2, the great, the wondrous (aka Robyn), looked around carefully and saw that my friends were still with me, but I didn't see any of the rest of our social studies class. I looked over at Matt, who was lying on the ground, and thought to myself,

 "Well, at least I'm here with him…" Then I looked over at RS1 (Rachel) "Station 9 and 3/4?" she asked curiously. "This wasn't on the map...

All around Rachel, Matt, Logan and I, people hustled around, with oodles of odd looking luggage, lots of little animals, and what seemed to be hundred and hundreds of broomsticks.

"What, are we at the Janitors' convention??" Marini laughed.

''MATT! Stop fooling around! Have you noticed we just flew through a FREAKING WALL?" panicked Chel.

Matt simply looked confused."...wha.....?"

"Nevermind, let's look around." Rachel muttered as she grabbed Logan's hand.  Rachel attempted to subtly hold hands with Logan. Subtle wasn't her forte though, and the blushing on *both* was visible. Hey anything to get to touch Logan… typically Chel.

Matt and I looked at each other. I, of course, was blushing, but hoped that no one could see that as it was getting dark. We grabbed hands for a moment, but alas, my nerves overcame me as

I pulled my hand away, embarrassed, and ran up to Chel.

As the teens looked around, a cute red-headed boy flew into them, seeming to come from nowhere.

"Hey, block the whole portal why doncha?" asked the boy in a cute English accent. (I knew without looking that Rachel was drooling despite her boyfriend's presence. She loves him but she also loves English accents.) Matt looked lost again. Rachel sighed. "A portal, Mariiini, is a connection from one place to another. Matt giggled as he took everything the wrong way.

The red-headed boy and I stared at each other. Well, I did most of the staring. You see, I like boys. A lot. "Hello", I greeted him enthusiastically. "My name's Robyn, what's yours?"

"Ron Weasley, nice to meet you Robyn", he said. "This your first year at Hogwarts? Maybe we'll be in the same house..." Ron said flirtatiously. 

"Hey! Back off!" said a reddening Matt. "What do you mean, Hogwarts? Is that some sort of cosmetic surgery for pigs?"

Ron blinked. "Um...no. Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry. But you're going there, right?"

Matt cried out, "WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY?!?" Suddenly we were very aware of wands, lots and lots of magic wands, all around them... It seemed as if we had a whole other world in front of us, and now we had to face it together…

~*~*~*~*~*~The Great Chel. No. Not Chelsea, Rachel~*~*~*~

…I, however, was more aware of the fact that the wands around me were POINTED at me. Which I did not like at all, thank you very much.  I was, however, touched to notice that Logan was attempting to put himself between the wands and me, although there were definite problems based on the fact that the wands were all around me.  

Yep, that's my boyfriend.  I adore him anyways. And he looks really nice in a bathing suit, but that's neither here nor now.

"Um… okay, who are you, what are you planning to do to me and does my insurance cover it?" I asked, really, really hoping they had a decent sense of humor.  The red head, incidentally the first one to level his wand at me and therefore the one who deserved my wrath, looked puzzled.

"An surance?" Oh come ON.  What planet is this guy from, anyways?  Luckily for me, this bushy haired girl came up behind him, rolled her eyes, and pushed him out of the way.

"Honestly Ron, don't you know anything? Insurance is like a refund on your life, health, car or whatever else." He stared blankly at her and she sighed, turning to me.

"Who are you and what are you doing here if you don't know what Hogwarts is?" Not another one! Two can play this game… snob.

"My name is Rachel Sawyer, who are you, where are we and who stuck that stick up your ass?"

Hindsight is always 50/50. I probably shouldn't have insulted her, but I was sore, I was cranky, I was lost, and it was damn well their fault that Logan wasn't holding my hand anymore.  Wouldn't you say it was a natural reaction? 

Well, I suppose you wouldn't, not knowing what my boyfriend looks like. His chin is pretty much on the level of my nose, which will PROBABLY make it hard to kiss him, should the time ever come… but I digress. He has curly, cute black hair with gorgeous dark brown eyes, so brown that they look black from a distance. When he actually… oh, but you probably don't want to know that.

Anyways, as I was saying, I was rather upset, which makes it a really good thing that Logan took over from there.  

"Um, listen, we don't really know where we are so if you could just give us some directions we'll leave if we're trespassing or something."

"Hermione, I'm sure there's nothing wrong, we should just let them go." Ron said while continuing to eye Robyn. I noted that Matt did not seem to appreciate the attention, and made a mental note to think about that later.  Bushy opened her big mouth to respond, but right about then there was a blast from the train beside them, and the black haired boy who had showed up at the point after I dissed Bushy – with a red headed girl, both looking flushed (I vaguely wondered what exactly what they'd been up to with a smirk) – said hurriedly,

"Hermione!" she turned to him.

"Yes, Harry?"

"I think you'd better bring them with us, or the train's gonna leave without us!"  Not even bothering to check her watch, Bushy turned to us and said, probably faking regret, 

"I'm afraid you'll have to come with us, because we don't have the time to sort this out at the moment."

 I got as far as opening my mouth to tell her just what she could do with her time in explicit detail before Robyn gave me a jab in the ribs. I gave her a dirty look but Logan put his arm around me and that shut me up very quickly.

~*~*~*~   *Chel giggles twitchily… mmFelton(Byn's turn)*~*~*~*~*~

Ok…so I have just traveled through some wall, remarkably, met these weird people in weird robes who don't even know what insurance is,  Rachel is obsessing over Logan again, and now I have to choose between two boys as we are being forced on a train with the cute red head. How did I get here? And could things be worse?

So, my friends and I followed Ron and his two friends onto the bus. I started chatting with Bushy, as Rachel called her (you get the idea she's being a bit anti-social?), and casually brought up the phrase 'hair straightening'. 

"Oh, my hair used to look like that too, all out of control, but once I bought a hair straightener I made it look like this!", I said as I showed her my straight locks. Rachel didn't seem to mind, this time, that my hair was straight, cuz she was busy playing with her boyfriend's curly hair. Chel has some problems with curly hair. Although she doesn't lust after mine, the way it bounces up 'n down amuses her. She did, however, mind that I would rather talk about hair than find out where we are. Blame it on the hair color, really! (I am the True Blonde) Oh I really gotta stop talking' 'bout hair…

So I looked outside and realized that the train was moving. Rachel, Logan Matt and I sat down with Ron, Bushy, and the dark haired boy with a strange lightning shaped scar on his forehead. "So…" said Logan."What's your name?" he asked the scar boy. Ron and Hermione looked a little bewildered. "You mean... you don't know him?" They asked in unison. We admitted that we didn't and wondered if we should.

Suddenly, a pointy chinned blonde boy popped up behind Logan. "Well, well, well, not everybody knows the world-famous Harry Potter!" the blonde boy sneered at the boy with the scar. "Well wonders never cease. Somebody ACTUALLY doesn't know about the amazing feats of Harry Potter! Yeah, this little Mud-Blood lover does everything! He defeated Voldemort (As he said Voldemort Ron sort of twitched), TWICE in fact! He's saved lots of innocent lives-Oh barf-Oh yes about the only thing this hero hasn't done is get laid." He then looked over at the redheaded girl. "However, with the Weasleys around, that might not be too far off. After all, they need to find SOME way to pay the rent..."

Ron burned with anger. Then, before our eyes, little miss Hormone....I mean Hermione... lost her temper, and puller out, her freaking magic wand! And then she pointed it at the blonde haired boy. "You'll regret that Malfoy!" she exclaimed. A little bit overprotective of Ron…hey he's MINE! Then, amazingly, she yelled some weird spell or another; we were all to shocked to listen. A goopy substance overtook Malfoy, who was temporarily blinded. "The conjunctivitis charm never fails", giggled Hermione as Malfoy stumbled backwards into two massive guys. Unfortunately, neither was very cute. But that's OK; I already have 2 boys I like. I'm good. However, I do see 2 older boys that look a bit like Ron over there...

WAITAMINUTE! What am I saying? These people… just performed magic! And I'm checking out guys? And what IS Hogwarts anyway? WHERE ARE WE GOING? Where's my teddy bear when I need him!?

So, I guess we were all kinda feeling that way, and me and Chel kind of just stared in amazement. Hermione apparently just kind of took it as a compliment that we were so shocked at her skills. The little...

"Robyn!" yelled Matt. "You're the smart one…you always beat me at that French game… What's going on?"

"I don't know Matt… I just don't know…" I replied. And I didn't.

A/N: So whaddya think? We live to amuse! Next chapter should be up sooner or later… later… probably.  Review and tell us is you want any scenes in particular (Snape should be fun)

Disclaimer: We do not in any way own or are affiliated with JK Rowling or her publishers and the various other companies owning rights to Harry Potter. We are merely borrowing the world and characters for our own amusement, and putting it out on the internet so people can tell us how much we suck.

Thank you for your time. =D


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